Working through a pandemic…
I’ve been thinking for a while about what the pandemic has taught me and how it has affected me as an artist. I don’t think any of us could ever have anticipated the feelings it would invoke, the actions it would cause us to take or the new reality we would be faced with. Whatever your train of thought or conspiracy theory you believe, whatever your take is on the handling of the pandemic, whichever political party you stand with and wherever you live in the world, truth is, no one was prepared for this, none of us actually know the real answers and we’ve all just been trying to do our best to muddle on through.
Life as a freelance performer can be up and down, on top of the world one minute, smashing it in the industry, booking loads of jobs, getting seen by all the right people…and the next minute you’re crying in to a family bag of Doritos wondering what you’re doing with your life!
After 14 years in the industry, I’ve learnt to develop a thick skin, I mean its now leather bound but the new prospect presented as a result of Covid 19 of potentially becoming completely unemployed and I mean, not booking at all, was a whole different story.
When lockdown began, all of my on-screen work immediately dried up. Jobs cancelled, postponed, TV commercials pulled, productions ground to a halt and panic set in. How on earth was I going to make a living? But very quickly, I adopted the part of my personality that usually sees me through, the part that is comprised of ‘sheer and un-relentless determination’. I’ll pull a comparison out of the bag from when I first graduated from London Studio Centre back in 2005.
I graduated and got my first professional contract straight away. In my naive and slightly cocky 21 year old mind, I just presumed that this would be how things would run for me going forwards throughout my career. Go for an audition, get the job, do the job, on to the next one! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What a pleb! When the reality of life in the entertainment industry set in and I kept getting cut from auditions and castings, I very quickly realised that if I was going to succeed then I was going to have to diversify and think outside of my comfort zone, I was going to have to go out there and make shit happen for myself. There was a whole world outside of Musical Theatre and I needed to dip my toe in to a couple of different areas if I wasn’t going to end up in a dull office job, sat next to Julie in Finance.
I knew that I was multifaceted, I knew I had a degree of talent that could cross over in to other areas of entertainment, I just needed work out how I was going to make that happen. In short, I started out by walking in to commercial agencies to find work as a model and going to voice classes to kick start my career in voiceover. I’ve always had a relatively large pair of balls (metaphorically speaking) so taking a leap in to an unknown territory was never really an issue.
Anyway, the point that I’m trying to make (and not very briefly it seems, 200 words later *eye roll) is that I seem to react very well to challenging situations. In fact, I think I would go as far as to say I ‘thrive’ in periods of change. I’m a risk taker, a bit of a ball breaker and have very much overcome the fear of failing (pretty sure this has come with age). These parts of my personality have meant that I have been able to maintain a career throughout this pandemic thus far and without sounding boastful, have managed to….well….do alright. Yes work has been depleted and no, it hasn’t been where I would normally get it….but it has still been there, I’ve just had to search harder than ever to find it. I stayed in contact with all of my clients and reached out to around 150 potential new ones ( I know, loads, cant quite believe it myself, must’ve been taking speed on those days). I had a Medical voice demo produced as I could see the amount of potential work in this sector due to Covid 19. I took part in every table read and online acting class that I could to keep myself in training and I signed to a new voice agent just two weeks ago. This is all wonderful and I am no longer shy to say when I am proud of myself….
But this does NOT mean I don’t know what its like to sit on the opposite side of the fence. I know what it feels like to be crippled with anxiety, panic attacks and dark days. I could absolutely sympathise with fellow performers who have felt un-enthused, depressed, unproductive, worried, anxious and stagnant. But we all have a choice. We can either sit back and panic and stress or we can do our very best to make what we can out of a ‘semi disastrous’ situation. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t spent lockdown with loads of time on my hands practicing headstands and making homemade hummus, I mean, I’m a mum to a 3 year old, the last time I had time on my hands was 2016! And for every success I have had, there have been many more failures.
In light of this, let me ‘in a typical British fashion’ share some of these failures with you:
I auditioned for 13 jobs and only booked 1
Sent out 25+ emails with a spelling mistake in the subject line *cringe face*
Spent 30 mins on Zoom addressing a director as ‘James’ when his name was ‘Josh’ *awks*
PC got a virus and temporarily wiped all of my audio files (must learn to always backup!)
Lost out on a feature film role that I REALLY wanted
Left the house and went to Tescos wearing leggings with a pair of knickers caught in the trouser leg and the knicker frill hanging out the bottom
Grew an unhealthy relationship with Galaxy Vegan Chocolate Orange
Contracted cellulitis in my leg
Cried alot
Made three consecutive failed attempts at making a vegan Lentil Bolognese. Turns out the real thing is soulless anyway so I needn’t have bothered
We don’t have control of what the future holds or what life throws at us but we can control how we spend the present. Lets not be afraid to celebrate our successes nor frightened to share in our failures. We’re all in this life together, lets help each other out and move each other forward.
Sending love and light to every reader