SAYING IT OUT LOUD

Last week I was interviewed for the BTG interviews about my career and for nearly an hour I spoke to the lovely Benjamin Govey without spiraling in to an emotional breakdown, going on a frustrated ‘actors rant’ or using the words ‘I’m fiiiine, it’s fine, everything is fine’ . Don’t get me wrong, watching and listening to myself speak for 25mins in this interview was painful on my eyes and ears, I generally find myself feeling awkward and weird in interviews, I find myself a bit annoying and I get fixated on the right eye that squints more than the left (sexy) but the overriding feeling I got after watching it…….was pride!

‘Whaaaaaat?’

I felt proud of myself

‘Huh?’

Yep, unashamedly proud of myself

That’s a weird one isn’t it? Saying that out loud. Sort of feels like you shouldn’t. Like you need permission. Like you’re bragging in some way. But answering all of these questions reminded me of not just how far I have to go, but just how far I have come. I’ve done a lot of shite jobs in my 14 year career but I’ve also done a lot of amazing ones. I’ve had people put me down, laugh and snigger at the work I’ve undertaken and I’ve had people stand back and cheer my biggest successes. I’ve also endured everything in between.

No matter what we do in life, we always want to make those we love the most, proud….but what about us? Learning to love and be openly proud of who you are and who you have become takes time and work. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all help each other get there a little quicker?

If you have a spare 25mins to whittle some time away in this looming lockdown then feel free to watch my INTERVIEW here . It’ll change your life

*joke obvs*